i've been suffering from insomnia lately. not too bad, but definitely having later nights than i would like. i had it much worse in high school. i have a mind that won't shut off sometimes. last night i found myself wishing i could listen to music or podcasts AND read my book simultaneously just so i could keep busy enough. i suppose it could be done and who's to say i'd retain any less information? it's affecting my ability to deal with noise of which there is a lot of in my house. why are the smallest ones the loudest?

i tried taking so many pictures today and come away with only a few that were worthy of keeping/editing the hell out of. we were inside much of the day because my allergies are making me want to claw my eyeballs from their sockets and bea walks around rubbing her eyes saying "eye?". anyway, i took a few selfies and all that did is make me want to count all the grays in my hair. i was a little surprised at the amount (i didn't actually count though). i realized i look as tired as i feel and i feel like i am definitely closer to forty than i am to twenty. which is true, i am. but that doesn't mean i want feel it. or feel like i look it.

and to not sound entirely grumpy and whiny i'll let you know i've been feeling grateful at the same time. for so many things. one of them being this amazing community. i was going through one of my photo sets on flickr last night and getting really sappy and silly and i was just really touched by the comments. i'm just grateful for this opportunity to 'meet' so many people and share experiences with them (and you). some of you have been around since i started this blog (or close to it) and began posting on flickr (close to 2.5 yrs ago i think - i might be wrong). you are witnessing me and my family grow and sharing that experience and that is really pretty powerful. i get so much support and love from all of you and just want you to know it's appreciated beyond measure. and i can't even begin to describe what i have gained from all of you. so thank you. it means so much to me that you stop by here.

i found this cover over here today, and i am really enjoying it. if you aren't familiar with mr. ferry's site look around (especially at his photography site). i would pack up today and leave for london if i could because of his photos. of course if you've been visiting here long enough, you know i'd pack up today and go just about anywhere : )


  1. new to knowing you, but feel blessed to know you as well :)

    this is a great image, a sweet post and yes, community makes life so much fuller. I am struggling with maintaining my blog; this inspires me :)

    thanks so much, I'll be back :)


  2. Reading blogs like yours makes me really want to start a blog!

    And, if I thought I had a chance in hell of looking half as good as you do in that photo I'd be over in a heartbeat to photograph myself in your mirror :)

  3. Anonymous4/20/2010

    beautiful post and a very honest and beautiful selfie. Work with self portraits help us a lot. I enjoy reading your blog.

  4. a momma without sleep is not a good thing. i know what you mean about the mind not wanting to shut off and thinking of a million things to do at once. maybe you just need to unplug and be really still. easier said than done, i know. :)

    we've been eatting zyrtec and claritin like candy around here. one of the girls coughs all night, the other has eyes that look like they have pink eye 24-7 and we've used all the tissues in the house until i get groceries. ugh. i'm ready for spring to calm down a bit.

    have i mentioned that i'm glad to be getting to know you? if not...i am. :)


  5. What a beautiful portrait of you! I'm having an insomniac period myself - thus far I've just lais in bed and stared at the ceiling, but if I have problems tonight I'll probably be up doing something constructive. I feel frail when I don't get enough sleep. Oh well, it's been on and off my whole life. Have learned to deal.

  6. Insomnia can be crushing. And I sort of feel like there's a funk floating through the air. Maybe it's the changing of seasons, but I'm trying really hard to keep it away. I doubt it will work because funks are kind of like insomnia. You know you should be sleeping/feeling happy, but you can't do it for some reason.

    Love the SP.

  7. i've had a hard time dealing with the (abundance of) noise from my kiddos, too, lately. my insomnia just makes it so easy for me to get overstimulated during the day.

    sending you hugs and hoping sleep will come to you soon...

    your sp is just lovely...

  8. Beautiful you. SO beautiful!

    We can sleep when we're dead, I guess.

  9. Wow, I feel so normal after reading all these comments! There are other people out there who don't sleep! I'm not happy that you're experiencing insomnia but relieved to know I'm not alone. Jess, I haven't really slept in 4 years, ever since I was pregnant with Ben. Sigh. Maybe some day. Until then, there's caffeine.

    Your SP is gorgeous. You look way better than my tired reflection in the mirror. And just for the record, I'm closer to 40 :) Can't wait to see you all at the beach and share a nice, cold beer.

  10. it is a beautiful image you posted.

    things will settle - it changes. I am no longer as physically tired as I used to be; but emotionally and spiritually it is a struggle (and a joy) to raise teenagers.

    day by day.

  11. Anonymous5/20/2010

    I think that is an absolutely stunning and powerful self portrait! You are beautiful, so is your photography, your blog, your writing and your honesty!


Compliments, grievances and any other general feedback