random.

i think you should check this out.
make sure you click on full screen : )

peek a boo.

just popping in again.

listening to the black keys and about to bake a certain girl's birthday cake. somehow bea will turn 2 tomorrow. and she is ready. especially for her pink (by request) cake.
she can't decide if she want's to go on a hike and have a birthday picnic or go to the museum and have a birthday picnic. tonight she said both. maybe we'll wait until we're in the car tomorrow before we ask again.

the pendulum of life has been swinging pretty hard between the good and the bad here lately. nothing i want to get into, yet. just life stuff. i'm just glad that when it has been good it has been really good.

my dslr is still in disrepair, but i hope to have it return soon. in the meantime, i am enjoying film, except when i really screw up the shot and with film i think that's pretty hard to do - but i am managing just fine a little too often. not to complain to much because i love the excitement and anticipation of getting the pictures back and thrill of seeing the ones that turned out better than i imagined.
i need a film fund and i'm open to donations, because i don't want to give this up.

so, here's a little film-y goodness for your viewing pleasure. i'll be back around these parts again soon.

random wednesday.

i've been listening to the feelies a lot. at least when i'm not listening to these guys, because holy smokes i can't stop.


what are you listening to lately?

community love.

via hula seventy.

this is from one hello world. you should go check it out.

it reminded me of this a little bit.

in summary.

i haven't been blogging (obviously), but i also haven't been reading blogs either. maybe a post here and there, but that's it. today i opened up my blog roll and i am behind on reading 867 posts. ha! now, in all honesty, there a several blogs that i just skim (certain photo and design type blogs). then there are those that i like to get lost in, so if i don't have the time - i don't open them until i do. this is the weekend i think i'm going to make that time. i feel the need to catch up and not feel so far behind. i also think this is the weekend i need to whittle down my blog list (like those blogs i skim, for example.). this was supposed to be the summer of simplifying. i think the simplifying will be carried over into the fall and most likely the winter. i'm okay with that. it's a process.

looking forward to catching up with many of you!

it's official.

i am officially ready for summer to move on out of here. i'm ready for cooler weather. jeans and cardigans. leaves crumpling under foot. the smell of autumn. bonfires and smores. the list could go on and on.

school's are entering their third week here. that doesn't mean much to me except that i know fall is around the corner. it tempts me to start packing away the swimsuits and shorts and break out the jeans and socks. i almost did it today, but restrained myself. i know i've good a good month or so of summer left.

i'm just ready for the season to change. henry must know it too, because he brought this leaf in just for me and set it on the kitchen table without saying a word.

dog days of summer.

ah, the summer of simplifying. in other words, a summer of slowly filling up the van with boxes and bags for donations (not to mention the recycling bin). today the garage was tackled. matt worked on one side (his studio/work area) and i worked on the other. i think it was close to 100 degrees outside, but by the time we were done the floor had been swept and the van was half full of toys, christmas decorations, a vacuum, and outgrown baby things. it always feels good to unload that stuff and pass it on (to those who will use it), but the job feels far from over. i suppose it could feel that way until the littles are bigger littles. one thing that felt really great was putting away the baby gate. it probably could have been done a couple months ago, but it sat to the side just in case. why we're hanging on to that i can't say, but we are. i'm just glad i don't have to look at it anymore.

the task (if that's the right word) of simplifying is a journey i will be on for some time i think. this stage of de-cluttering is the only way i know how to begin. it's not something new to me, but this go round is a little more intense and has more intention. it's about prioritizing and focusing. it's about cutting out some of the unnecessary things and giving time to the more important ones. it's about less physical/mind clutter and more open/free space. it's about less time spent maintaining and more time on personal growth. it's about less of that and more of us.

lazy days of summer.

hello there!
i am not going to start out by apologizing for being absent from this space of mine (as i usually do). though i think about posting on a daily basis, something is compelling me to keep my distance, so i am just going to go with it.



it's due (partially) to laziness. it's summer so that should be encouraged. my attention(s) are elsewhere. i'm reading more, listening to music more, watching more movies than i should be, lazing about in the high heat of the afternoon under the ceiling fan with at least one small child, and consuming too many desserts that consist of blueberries and lemon cake. and those are just the positive lazy things. there are negative ones too . . .

like the mounds of clean laundry to put away, the stack of dishes in the sink (again), the little green army men littering the floor throughout the house, and the fact that as i type this, there is a browning banana peel literally hanging off the top of the piano. but, i have my back to it so i can pretend its not there for the moment.

p.s. i'm so lazy that the picture i posted is from nearly two years ago because i didn't feel like uploading pictures tonight.

***and here's some nice lazy relaxing music to enjoy***

----------

i've been suffering from insomnia lately. not too bad, but definitely having later nights than i would like. i had it much worse in high school. i have a mind that won't shut off sometimes. last night i found myself wishing i could listen to music or podcasts AND read my book simultaneously just so i could keep busy enough. i suppose it could be done and who's to say i'd retain any less information? it's affecting my ability to deal with noise of which there is a lot of in my house. why are the smallest ones the loudest?

i tried taking so many pictures today and come away with only a few that were worthy of keeping/editing the hell out of. we were inside much of the day because my allergies are making me want to claw my eyeballs from their sockets and bea walks around rubbing her eyes saying "eye?". anyway, i took a few selfies and all that did is make me want to count all the grays in my hair. i was a little surprised at the amount (i didn't actually count though). i realized i look as tired as i feel and i feel like i am definitely closer to forty than i am to twenty. which is true, i am. but that doesn't mean i want feel it. or feel like i look it.

and to not sound entirely grumpy and whiny i'll let you know i've been feeling grateful at the same time. for so many things. one of them being this amazing community. i was going through one of my photo sets on flickr last night and getting really sappy and silly and i was just really touched by the comments. i'm just grateful for this opportunity to 'meet' so many people and share experiences with them (and you). some of you have been around since i started this blog (or close to it) and began posting on flickr (close to 2.5 yrs ago i think - i might be wrong). you are witnessing me and my family grow and sharing that experience and that is really pretty powerful. i get so much support and love from all of you and just want you to know it's appreciated beyond measure. and i can't even begin to describe what i have gained from all of you. so thank you. it means so much to me that you stop by here.


i found this cover over here today, and i am really enjoying it. if you aren't familiar with mr. ferry's site look around (especially at his photography site). i would pack up today and leave for london if i could because of his photos. of course if you've been visiting here long enough, you know i'd pack up today and go just about anywhere : )

a list.

a few things i know today.

~ the age 3.5 is testing me. especially when it is awake at 10 pm.

~ i needed a nap today. but i was a glad i didn't fall asleep.

~ i need to be more present in this place. for myself.

~ i have some of the funniest children on earth. they prove it everyday.

~ a sink full of dishes is okay. at least right now.

~ i'm in the mood for some changes.

~ i want to wake up early tomorrow. but in the morning i won't want to.

10.

the lovely, and expectant sarah of bee house hives tagged me to make a list of 10.

10 things that make me happy to be specific.

so, these are 10 things that are making me happy right now.

1.

my littles love to be read to. bea loves word books, henry has been into nature/science.

2.

bea is almost done teething. at least i don't think any more teeth will fit in her mouth.

3.

my kitchen table, so much so that i have started a set on flickr for it.

4.

the flowers on my kitchen table.

5.

80's music . . . seriously.

6.

some long awaited books are in the mail and on their way here.

7.

quiet nights with matt.

8.

wild curiosities of a three year old boy.

for example, wondering if he is going to have hair on his chest when he grows up.

9.

that bea can not be still (or quiet) when she hears music. i love love love having a tiny dancer!

10.

spring is on its way.

if you have not played along yet, please do and leave a link in the comments if you do. i'd love to know what's making you happy these days!

o canada

getting ready for an evening with friends, food, and wine listening to joel plaskett on pandora.

i have this lady to thank for the introduction (way back in september).

haven't stopped listening, and it's the perfect soundtrack to a sunny afternoon.

*if you listen to pandora (or any other streaming type radio) i highly recommend getting a joel plaskett station.

**i also recommend you buy at least one of his albums : )

and one more. just because.

once again.

my head is a mess. i just spent a good 40 minutes typing up a post and just deleted it.

i've got things to share but i am utterly distracted. i'm behind on replying to emails, uploading photos, sending out some thank you's, getting these blog posts out of my head, and laundry.

hmmmm. maybe if i wasn't spending 40 minutes typing up a post just to delete it . . .

***totally irrelevant picture***

anyway, i do have lots of found crafty inspiration, finished projects, and snowy goodness to share. but it might be best to wait until later in the week. i've got some ducks to straighten up.

reason #214

why we love youtube.

(vintage sesame street is just plain awesome).

back on the bench.

went to story time at the local bookstore today.
went to the lys to wind a couple skeins i already had.
saw bea's newly painted lavender room in the sunlight (it looks good!).
and got a bench monday shot for the first time in a long while.

productive enough day for me : )

play/repeat

discovered this via hula seventy last night and could not pass up sharing it.
we've been listening to it repeatedly. loud.
i clicked on it right before putting henry to bed, and we were all drawn to it instantly. matt and i thought the same thing almost immediately. there should be more (positive) music like this. also, how often do you hear jane austen's name dropped in a hip hop song?

beautiful modern poetry + beautiful light filled video = hitting the repeat button.

we all shine on

one of my first loves. when i first discovered john lennon and the beatles i remember listening to their music over and over and over.
i devoured books about them, i watched movies, i immersed myself in them. i sometimes find myself wondering if things would be different in this world if john was still with us.

i believe they would be.

quandary: of the good sort

basically, i don't know what i am going to do with my day once i finish this bowl of chili.
it isn't often that i have a day to myself, but thanks to my mom, i have this great quandary.
i know i could clean the bathrooms or move mountains of laundry. do i take this time to do things i can do when the littles are
home (though i could cross them off my list much faster), or do something such as relax a bit? i haven't decided yet. i may balance the day out with both. i have sewing projects i would really like to begin and that is a task i can accomplish much better with a huge block of uninterrupted time. or i could knit while watching a movie that no one else in this house cares to see. the possibilities seem endless right now - i think i am almost giddy! but i better get on it, because i know the days are short right now.

it's all good

you know, i was having a good day. henry woke up grumpy, but that changed to a good mood fairly quickly. we ran some errands and both littles were a joy to be around.
henry trying on black high-heeled shoes, asking if the were tap shoes. put them back when i said no.
two littles humoring me as i speedily browsed. (did find a great pair of blue tights for myself and a great stripey consignment sweater for the boy).
huge crazy halloween store near where we were so i indulged henry by going in. he was being so good i couldn't say no the day before halloween. walked in said he didn't like the spooky stuff. we looked for a hot dog costume for bea. henry has been saying he wants bea to be a hot dog for the big night. i'm not big on getting her dressed up, but if i had seen one i probably would have snatched it up. (they did have a costume for child to be a ketchup bottle. what poor child wants to be ketchup for halloween - or do they just make those for people who have waited until 4 o'clock on halloween to get their kid a costume and there's nothing else to get?)
then. ah, then . . .

then we get home. i have two sleeping children in the car. i carry the girl into the house in her carseat. retrieve the boy but he wakes up. then i run upstairs to the bathroom. then i run back down. mad dash to get dinner started while bea is sleeping. then i notice the brown stuff all over the carpet. it had been raining most of the day. i assumed it was mud. i cleaned it up, put my shoes on the garage steps. get dinner going. go back in the garage. realize from the odor that was probably not mud on my shoe. great!!!!



and then that just unleashed all the craziness for the evening. matt working on a patina for a sculpture. i'm supposed to be photographing it. running in and out of the house making dinner taking photographs nagging henry letting the dog out taking photographs stirring dinner taking photographs (all the while bea is on my left hip - can't wait to see how the photos turn out). go to let dog in. she walks in i turn around to get back to dinner. realize she has something (this is going to be gross walk away now if you want) . . .



hanging out of her butt!!!!! i think i screamed in frustration. poor dog. i shoo her back out the door until i can get a grasp on the chaos inside. run onto the porch repeatedly telling henry NOT to open the door, bea crying her eyes out because i am outside and she is inside, me extracting the grass or whatever off mason's bum with elasti-girl arms because ewwwwww disgusting!!!! done. scrub scrub scrub hands. pick up bea tell henry for the 30th time that no he cannot have a gummy eyeball before dinner stir dinner take photographs back inside check on dinner realize that clean house i peacefully enjoyed last night while sipping wine, knitting, and watching 30 rock no longer exists. amazing. AMAZING! what can happen in about 2 hours!

here is where the problem started. i don't employ a chef.

okay, seriously. matt cooks most nights. he is a great cook. really really great. i am not. he has been so busy so i took over cooking for the week. and it was good and has been good. but i had planned for having leftovers the night he was doing the patina and that didn't happen as originally planned. so tonight i had this dinner planned. the one that was not that involved but a little too involved for me. what with all the other things i was involved in.

nights like this i just don't feel like a grown up. or that i can function well without matt. i know that really i can (function w/o matt (but would rather not). the grown-up thing totally eludes me), but tonight was not one of them.

so matt, thank you for stopping and picking up that giant bottle of wine. the house is in shambles and i'm okay with that. it's 8:30 - things have settled, one little is asleep in her bed and the other will soon be on his way. and the kitchen will be clean enough in no time.

amazing what can happen in an hour.