1.28.2009

blah blah blah

So, my week (or month) of having the blahs is almost up. i told myself i needed to shape up by the end of january or else.
what i had in mind for the or else part, i'm not really sure. but the deadline is looming and things are looking better.

part of it is blog land. from some of the blogs i've been visiting, i get the sense that i have not been alone in my funk or in my stress. this has been so helpful just knowing that i am not alone and that it happens to most people.

Stefani's post over at Blue Yonder couldn't have come at a better time and her new flickr group has been some great medicine for laughing at myself and other mama's out there even encouraging it! there is such relief in knowing that other people's lives can look and feel as chaotic as mine.

Andrea's post at Superhero Journal reaffirmed what i have been telling myself over the past several days. that is, that much of my stress is self induced. i am striving to get so much done and accomplished in a short amount of time. and. it's. not. happening.
i need to let it go (which i'm doing - to an extent). no one is giving me a timeline to get these things done that i want to get done. so, i am doing a little more relaxing. the day i read that post, i didn't do a thing. i took a nap with my babes and soaked it in. talk about good medicine.

and the other thing that is helping YOU! you friends out there. thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
some of you have reminded me that i am, ahem, a new mom. i think i forgot that one.
it's hard to explain because i guess since we have henry i didn't really consider it anew venture. i've been there, i've done that. and bea just seems like she's been here for the longest time - even if that time is whizzing by.
and then it hit me. i am adjusting. i now have two where i had one. i have less time. less quiet. less sleep (though as of late that is the boy's fault not bea's). less energy. less patience.
now i have more mess. more diapers. more cuddling. more crying. more cuteness. more baths. more bedtimes.

it's a balance i have not mastered and now realize i probably never will. so now i am looking at things in a slightly different light. i'm allowing myself this adjustment period. i guess it just hit me kind of late. the things onmy list will get done. eventually. i will have more time. eventually. i will have less diapers. eventually. i will have more sleep. eventually. i will have more coherent thoughts. eventually.
you get the idea.

so here is to pushing the blahs aside and saying thank you fellow bloggers for picking a girl up just when she needed it. you ladies have good timing.

5 comments:

  1. Two kids + winter + post-holiday + the news = a funk for everyone. The best thing for me? When there are about two or three reasonably warm days and the snowdrops push through the dirt and gravel . . . that snaps me out of my funk (it usually happens in early March . . . but I'm hoping for earlier).

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  2. hugs my friend. i was there six years ago. two babies. in diapers. living with family because we decided to add on to our house and didn't finish before vacation time expired and baby arrived. such a distant memory. stress may be self induced, but it is still a response to the external environment - and your external environment has definitely changed! but just the other day i was thinking, time will pass whether i worry about it or not. my children will grow up whether or not i worry about them. i'm working on letting it go and letting it happen.

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  3. jess, you may not have yet realized it but you just turned a very important corner. i remember being right where you are now...finally agreeing with myself that it was okay to let things go and allow them to fall into place and just see what emerged on its own. it was frightening at first, but it was the day that i opened the door to really enjoying my new crazy life as a mom of two.

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  4. Yes..your words here suggest that you have made a breakthrough. You are almost where you desire to be..you can practically touch it!

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  5. thank you friends for such kind words! i appreciate you all for being out there and for understanding and letting me get it out there in the open.

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