lately i feel like i have more shadows than i should at one time. not enough quiet and calm to break up the noise and chaos. some days i can take this in stride, while other days i feel like all coping skills have mysteriously vanished and may never be seen again. i feel like hiding away sometimes and the other night i did. as soon as dinner was finished i bolted up the stairs telling matt i needed at least 10 minutes, ducked into the bedroom and locked the door. i put some music on and laid on the floor next to the bed. the lock is faulty, so my hope was that if a noisy small person came in i might not be found.
i was found, but sometimes all it takes is 10 minutes of breathing in a room that you have all to yourself. that night i think i got 12 minutes.